I wish I could say things were better, but they aren't really. It's just sort of reached the point where I'm neutral. Which is tons better than what I can say for high school, what with the bulimia and pills and cutting and all that... at least its been reduced to pills. Oh I've stopped throwing up. Let's hope it lasts this time, right? Sigh...
Anyway.
Today I went to a Sigma rush event. I'm not exactly sure why I keep going to rush events. Although the idea of being in a sorority is starting to grow on me... I've already met the Sigmas, Gammas, Betas, and Alpha Chis. And I might just meet the Spurs but they have the biggest ho reputation and I'm not really looking to be a part of that.
No, what I really want to write about is Brian. The Phi Sig that I messed around with Friday? Well... he hasn't called me. And me, being the anal self-conscious freak... of course I'm freaking out. So tonight, here is the goal: get really fucking drunk, call him. I really hope he's not in bed when I call cause that may just make him mad. And it will still be hella embarassing tomorrow morning if I see him and hes like... hey you called me. But you know? I have to know whether this is going to go anywhere or not. And I'm pretty sure I'd take bad news better if I'm trashed outside my mind. Which is what I do often. I took an Alcohol Edu class online (because I had to, of course), and discovered that the kind of drinking I do could probably kill me. But, God, what a way to go!