I'm superclose to the Betas now. And swim team? Oh, God. If I ever, and I mean ever, talk about quitting the swim team again, I give you all license to cut my heart out with a knife because, in essence, that's what I would be doing to myself. I love swimming. With every fiber of my being. Okay, it's not the same here. Okay, my teammates are not the ones I am used to. Okay, the coach is a little tougher on me while at the same time treating me so much better. Okay, I'm back on the bottom of the food chain. But these tiny things shouldn't deterr me from continuing to do something I adore.
My teammates are still cool people. Sarah G. and I joke with each other. I tease Blair and Tyler. They call me Cippy and Blackie. Blair tells me I'm one of the best girls in the team. I fucking kicked ass at the meet. An enormous, voluptuous ass. Sam is just like me but older. Of course, Sarah M., Christy, and Katy seem mad at me and refer to my 200 breast in sniping tones. But, they're seniors. Of course they're mad. I would be too if a freshman kicked my ass. Ahem. Where was I? Oh yeah. Jackie is the fucking coolest. The nicest girl ever. As is Jamie. And the rest of my lane- Ryan and Sebastian- are cool too. Lauren I could do with or without, no difference. Emily? Who cares, I never talk to her anyway. But no, I'm not some snotty brat who glares at them and talks shit- I never talk about them except in my occasional diary rant. I smile, I'm civil, if they (well, Lauren) talk to me, I talk back. Before our races on Saturday, I patted Emily on the back and said, "Good luck." The essence of not being friends is not hatred, as I hate no one. It's possible for me to not be someone's friend without actively disliking them. Damn, back to the good. My assistant coach, Ad'm, is cool as shit. I love that guy. And Coach Ryan tells me I'm what was missing from Trinity swimming all along... he says that with me, he knows the relay will go a long way, and that I will have a big part in winning conference. That in conjunction with my love for swimming are the reasons I'm still doing it.
What else, what else? Guys! Bryan is the sweetest guy ever, so I hate doing what I'm doing to him. But in a classic Cip way, I've lost interest. Yes, he still likes me. Yes, he still wants to go out. But... well... I don't. So I'm doing the avoiding and leaving obvious away messages about other guys. Ha ha... happy birthday, Bryan. Oh, it was his birthday yesterday. Jarrod is the man of the hour. I met him on Saturday and apparently he's nervous about calling me or something of the like. My friend Ana told me he asked her my screen name and room number and all these things. Although it sounds kind of stalker-y... he's hot as shit. And it's not like I'll have a long-term relationship with him... I am still incapable of long-term relationships.
Okay, Amanda? Get off my back. (i love ya!)