I'm a Beta now- pledging was hell on earth. We were treated like scum, had about 30 minutes for ourselves every day, barely ate, grades slipped, slept in a tiny dorm room with 15 other girls.... pledging was so hard that 5 girls dropped out. At the end of pledging, our sorority got sued by one of the pledges for hazing (which... uhh... was actually true...) and we went through a nightmarish court experience where we had to lie to people. It was absolutely fucking insane. Guy wise? Oh, come on. What kind of Cip would I be if I didn't have tons of guys that I fell in and out of lust with? Talking-wise in the 4 weeks since pledging ended I have talked to David, Bryan, otherDavid, Matt, Adam, and hotTyler. I still sorta have a crush on hotTyler but we sorta cleared up this whole only-hookup thing. It was actually my fault and I feel SO STUPID about it... we were making out one day in his room and he just leaned over and whispered, "I can't believe that!" And of course I get all defensive, and I'm like, "Can't believe what, fucker." He just smile and continued, "that a girl like you doesn't have a boyfriend." So, of course, still on the defensive, I went off, saying, "Well... I can't just be with one guy, I hate when guys get clingy, I hate relationships, I just wanna have fun with boys! You know... have somebody to hook up with, no strings attatched, like you and me." The second I said it I wanted to smack myself, but by now I'm just acting like I meant it. It's not that I don't. I've never been the relationship kind of girl. But I hope I didn't fuck up something really great before I had the chance to figure out what it was all about.
Hmm... what else is going on? Jeez... so much shit has happened. Oh, and we had a weekend spring retreat for my sorority. I was so fucking drunk that I don't remember the whole weekend. Apparently I walked up to my date and calmly informed him that I was going to be hooking up with my friend Dustin's date. And then I did... yay for me. I hear from him that we almost had sex but he had to stop me. Oh, I think all this happened cuz I took bars for the first time.
Another happy update is that I haven't done coke in hmm... forever. I can't afford it any more, plain and simple. I know I should have quit on my own but this is as good of a way as any, isnt it? Got the job done at least.
Hmm... I'll update within the month. I don't find a diary important to my life anymore although I guess I should keep Amanda updated in my life since I'm a crazy psycho and am liable to die of like.... drunk driving, overdosing, alcohol poisoning, or just plain craziness. Yay for Cip.